VIDEO: Solange Knowles Violently Attacks Jay Z In An Elevator.

Sup Travellers?! I'm a bit late on this Solange and Jay Z elevator CONSPIRACY because I wasn't home and BLAH BLAH. The timeliness of this post doesn't matter as much as the sheer fact that Jay Z was manhandled by a woman. I can now safely say that Jay Z's got 99 problems and a bitch is one. [Hhahahahaha. I just always wanted a reason to say that.]

There is a video online of the brawl but is unclear to me if it was Solange attacking Jay Z or some giant jitsu fighting chihuahua [in other words, the video was fuzzy]. But after the brawl Jay Z and Beyonce walked out of the elevator looking like if nothing happened. Solange on the other hand looked like someone had stolen her puppy and sold it to the old smelly guy down the street [poor baby].

It is not yet known what provoked Solange to go all Super Saiyan level 4 on Jay Z at Met Gala 2014 but whatever it was it must have been something really bad. 

Here's what I think provoked the brawl: I think Jay Z had accidentally soiled Solange's $60,000 dress with his unrelenting swag causing Solange to go HAM!!!! That's just one assumption. There could be a million other reasons why but I think I'll stick with my reason on account of me not caring. Anyway, my name is Trinikid and you've just been informed.