Why is it the Future and I Still Have to Brush My Teeth?

This really grinds my gears.  Why is it the year 2012, the very year that the world is supposed to end, and yet I still have to brush my teeth.
It really bothers me on a lot of things.  Why is the human race prioritising some things and not others?  There is a book written by Judge Judy from the tv show of the same name.  I read them all so I can’t remember which one it was, but there was the one called “Keep it Simple Stupid”, and it had a story in it.  She said that Viagra was originally used to expose the genitalia of insects so that they may be accurately sexed.  It was then used as a test compound to treat heart problems.  The project was moving at a slow to steady pace, with moderate financing.  Then it was discovered that a side effect of this heart medicine was that it gave prolonged erections to men.  After this discovery it was heavily invested in tested on a massive scale.  It took about three years before it was in circulation.  In drug testing terms, three years is lightening fast.
Where is the priority coming from here?  Why are electronic hoovers more advanced than a car I had ten years ago, and yet I still have to wipe my bottom with toilet paper. I’m pretty sure that people have been wiping their bottoms with paper since the Egyptian times, and I’m pretty sure that the people before the Egyptians were not letting it “take care of itself” like my dog does.  So how come my hoover has more attachments than a mother of 12, and yet I still have to wash my hands after pooping?
Where is the priority here?  I watched 2001 A Space Odyssey the other day.  I thought it was terrible by the way.  I know we should encourage the artful and the different, but not if its rubbish.  Different yes… but that does not give you a free pass on quality.  Anyway, in that film, it was 2001 and we were on Mars.  Yet all we have done is (allegedly) gone to the moon a few times.
Like “Movie Bob” said on “The Escapist Magazine” website on one of his shows “the big picture”.  Why didn’t NASA tell America that the probes on Mars found oil?
They could have smuggled a little up there, and then when it returns they open up the probe and look surprised at the oil sampled mixed with Mars dirt.
If NASA had told America that there was oil on Mars, then we would have cities up there by now.  The biggest part of the world would have invented various space craft, drilling machines and portable buildings to put up there.  By the time the NASA people were found out to be lying, they would already be near retirement, and the cities and spacecraft would already be built.
It is the year 2012.  The fact that ANY gaseous product comes out of a car is beyond me.  The fact I have to wipe my bottom with paper or splash around in a bidet is beyond me.  Why isn’t there a pill I can take that dissolves the dirt and plaque in a mouth, just leaving teeth and gum? Why don’t we have solutions that stimulate cells to grow over wounds and heal people internally…….erm, wait.  Don’t we have stem cells for that?  Well I was just running a few tests in the lab, and I just discovered that stem cells help people lose weight, quit smoking, find a lover, get rid of stretch marks, make you look younger and give erections.  Oh, and also, I just did a quick experiment whilst I was in the toilet (thinking of ways to improve the flush function) and I’m sure I saw one or two of those stem cells spit out a little oil.

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